0-5 Years old- Lived in a Math-free world, the only problem i had to solve was how to get as much filth on my cloths as i could in shortest time.


6-10 Years old- Learned how to read, math was my enemy, so was the alphabet.


11-15 Years old- I had shown math (and school) the finger, and tried to go rebel on the world, didnt do much for me..ended up at the hospital after drinking some booze, plus alot of notes back from school telling my parents ive been smoking again.


16-20 Years old- Managed somehow to get my grades and finish high school, with the lowest score in math of course, worked a year as a shoe salesman (got fed up with the Bundy jokes and quit) and Two years as the assitant manager at the local bakery (basically all i did was taking long breaks when the real boss was away). Tried to study philosophy, did ok, but everything is forgotten now.


21- where im at now, 22 years old- Met a really sweet girl after moving up-north to study economics.. (?!) say what?!! That means math!! YEAH! I KNOW!! Why do i do this to myself?! I HATE MATH! Thats basically why im writing this now, can anybody tell me why:



                                                          

You're on your own my little nightmare you cannot stay here
It's far too bright for you
If they attack you just lay there,
Play dead dear, it's your only hope of pulling through.

And seconds they seem like a lifetime.
A dream, recurring, a dream that can't come true.
And they'll pin it all on you
after all you've been put through.

"Sadie G. she's crazy, see?"
That's what the white coats say.
Now Ms. Susan A. is losing
every opportunity to put us all away.

Go run along my little nightmare.
Your job is done here.
You've scared them all to death.
If they revive them just sit there.
Just smile dear. Make them thankful for every breath.

The sentence may seem like a lifetime,
a scream, that curdling the blood they found on you.
And your knives and clothing too.
Charlie's broken .22

Well they found you and they shipped you up the river the same way that you've bound and gaged.
You've shot and stab.
You tried to set them free, but they've thrown away the keys.

"I think that if I found a god to me that was so beautiful that I'd do anything for him.
I'd do anything for god.
Even murder, if I believed it was god, how could it not be right?
Because he said it was.
I have no remorse for the killer inside of me, I have no guilt in me"


Buy this album! Alkaline Trio "Crimson", almost as good as the last one "Good mourning"

We`re maybe the most naive and gullable people on this earth, but damn we`re cute!

..So i sat there, watching "the OC", and it hit me; im living my life through a serie based on other peoples lifes! Im not joking, lately i`ve been closing of the world around me, sitting on my room downloading, and watching, this series like im obsessed or something!

How sad is that?!!

From now on, im going out there, in the real world, and i am gonna find MY Summer, im gonna find My friend Ryan and im gonna do whatever i can to have the best time of my life right now!!

........just gonna watch one more episode.......

For almost a month now i`ve been almost non-existing. It`s like i have lost all interrest for life in general. It`s not like im very depressed or anything, well, not more than usuall. I think im pretty average when it comes to that.

Im starting to think im having an twenty-something crisis, if such a thing even exists. April 15 was the date i had too decide what i wanted to study next fall, i want to study marketing, but only the private schools have this offer and it`s expensive! If i was really sure about what i wanted i`d probarbly aply to the private school, but im not and i dont want to waste alot of money just like that.
So, i decided to take something related on university where i only have to pay an small amount for the exam.
I don`t want to wait a whole year to decide either; i`ve worked full-time for two years now, in a bakery, and it was a great job because of the people who worked there, but the job itself was not giving me anything exept the income i needed for rent. So i feel i need something more.

Now, i`ve moved home again to my parents, the dog and four of my five siblings, i study philosophy (it was interresting the first two months, but now im losing my motivation) and i work part-time at the local pizza-joint.
Im 21, soon to be 22, single (and having problems with finding someone i could fall in love with), and life itself is not what i pictured it would be at this age.

I catch myself from time to time thinking "life was better when i was sixteen" While everybody around me seems to have the best time of their life, NOW.

So, anyway, all this feelings that are building up in me scares the shit out of me! I react by "closing", i spend most of my awaken hours avoiding thinking about it, but when it happens i get weird anxiety attacks!

I usually have control over my life even though it doesn`t seem like that to others, im a very sane person and im a loving person (thats even harder for others to see, but i am. I care alot.) So things should be in order, but i feel like im losing it right now.

While i was writing this i didn`t feel so anxiety-ridden, amongst all the other qualites i have im also a camouflaged optimist, so im just gonna say this: Everything IS gonna be alright, and it IS just a phase.. it just hurts so much when you`re in the middle of it all..

Emma woke up in darkness, suitcase already packed - note on the bedside signed in blood, "sincerely, never coming back."

- Alkaline trio

Your alter ego is Princess Aurora, a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty! You are beautiful and enchanting, and as sweet as ever.

That`s it! im never taking a personality test again!

Now im seriously considering the fact that im maybe gay..im gonna get so wasted tonight.